single.

(This post is inspired by this video by the youtuber Hannah Witton. I really like her videos, because she's very honest and I appreciate that so much in a person.)

For almost a year, I have been single. I have been single for seventeen years, but that was before I even knew what it meant to fall in love or to be in a relationship.

When I became single, I didn't know how to do it anymore. I had become so entangled in my long-term relationship. I genuinely thought I was going to marry that guy and be with him forever, so, when our relationship ended, I felt lost for a while. Little did I know that this bad experience would make me grow into a more independent and confident woman, and into a better friend. This all came from the fact that I had to fight for myself and it could have happened anyway.

However, my past relationship and breakup are not today's topics. Being single is. Because being single is seen in popular culture as a sad thing, and it doesn't have to be! It doesn't have to be a phase of self-discovery, it doesn't have to be a time to wallow in your loneliness, and it doesn't have to be a time of pining for Mr. Right. It's just a normal phase in which life goes on, with good and bad days as always.

This doesn't mean that I don't feel lonely or wish for a relationship sometimes. I am a very giving person and the idea of loving someone makes me very excited. Besides, many of my close friends are in very happy relationships and sometimes I think, 'Why can't I find someone like that?'. Sometimes I feel bad for feeling that way, because feeling like I "need" a man goes against my feminist values, but then I remember that I'm human and one with a lot of love to give, and that I have the right to feel.

In general, I am a very happy single girl. I have the best friends in the world. I am lucky enough to have a group of friends at college that ALWAYS compliment each other especially when we need a little pick-me-up, and who are honest and caring. I have an amazing, healthy family. I feel very happy with my degree and with being one step closer each day to becoming a doctor. And, even though it would be nice to have a boyfriend, this is a different season and I shall appreciate it for what it is. I am very thankful for my life right now.

I'm excited for what's to come, whatever it is, and I feel proud of myself for being a self-sufficient, independent woman who knows what she wants.

lots of love,

Mariana